Dear readers and friends. If you have been reading my post and probably waiting for the next one, I'm sorry for a slow response from me to find time to pay attention to my blog site. Life haven't been easy for me as some of you may know why and also for a friend of mine after reading her post about being lonely even though you have friends all around you. In a way, I guess it happens to everyone once in a while when things started to be different around you as well as the people that surrounds your life. Everything takes time. I won't say that I've been a good friend to anyone really because I can't really see myself as being a good person for someone who needs me. Its been a long while and it has never happened anymore since then. I guess I miss the feeling of being needed and loved.

Well I'm trying to move on in life after I lost my gf and its getting harder by the day although it has been much better than the first few days after we broke. Still, why am I dragging on even though I know its over and I shouldn't think about it at all. Why can't I just stop worrying about her and just get on with whats left of me? I guess in a way I can't really stop worrying as much as she hates it, but I as a friend now care for her so much even though she doesn't like me showing it. I guess I should keep my worries to myself and hope for the best without offending her in any way possible. Agree? I guess that would be the best thing for me to do even if she will say no that I shouldn't because I know how she is like on that part. Reason? Because she is still someone important in my life. I don't know why. Probably because of how she is as a person. Although it was just one month since we met, she had something in her that I've never seen in anyone else before. What is it? I can't say really. It could be a mistake from my feelings and understanding of her but its how I feel and I'll stick to it.

Saturday night was a friend's birthday and we had a pot luck party as well as alcohol drinks right after that. Had like about 4-5 bottles of beer and 2 cups of vodka which was a bad idea. Just like what happened at VK's party on his 18th birthday, I should have just stopped right after that. My head was spinning all over the place after a short while and the vodka in my stomach really felt horrible that it wants to come out so badly which I gave it it's wish :) Still, I drank because I was unhappy for my lost and even though me and her only went on for 1 mth 3 days, I probably poured everything I had in me into our relationship and it just fell apart which was hard for me to absorb even today. I basically broke out in tears after that. Never drink when you are upset....it just makes things worse for you.

Well eventually I will move on like everyone tells me. The future is a blur and I hope things will change for me soon instead of being upset all the time. I cant hope but wish for things to turn out the better way. This year might not be a good year for me but hey....life goes on.